Red red wine...

Jesus.
Sunday was wild.
I ended wayy too hammered apparently cursing off my husband so bad he wanted to sleep on the couch.
Remember this was the night before Valentine's.
We had this romantic dinner planned out and I must say it started off a little rough.
After IHOP(dontask) I took my hubby to Best Buy to choose his Valentine's Day gift even though I was not feeling that well.
So I took him beside the alarm clocks wishing he would choose one them because he really needs a new one.
Then I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom where I puked the mayo lettuce tomato sandwich.
Then I came back to see where my lovely was and where else but next to the plasma tv's disappointed about my idea of a romantic gift..for once I had been thinking practical(he had previously informed me that my gifts are a little silly..read:shitty....and I know he probably meant the 100 year old cow's bell or the shower head with red hearts on it..or some rocks I had collected...but since then he has gotten what he wanted: practical and not SILLY..)
But this time his idea of practical was either a mp3-player or a plasma tv.
Anyhow I was fine with either or, I just wanted to get the puking over with so I would have felt better...so off I went to puke the eggs and the hashbrowns...
After this time I thought I was done and put a mint in my mouth.
After an hour or so we left with Father of the Bride II-dvd and Monthy Python I think it was. We got in the car and 5 seconds later I screamed to stop the car and got out to puke...all it was was that fucking stupid mint!
Anyhoe..I had nothing in me anymore but a refreshed breath and a headache.
We came home..I puked nothing and went to bed.
He played some playstation and after couple hours I got up and we decided we were going to watch a romantic movie and order a gourmet dinner.
We had the gourmet but somehow ended up watching Pitt playing against something for couple of hours and then 24 and Supernanny...
Considering everything I think the day went pretty well.
I just don't understand why I had to be such a moron and drink bottles of wine...I did end up doing something romantic on that blasted Sunday night though...

here it is..no reason to hide it:

have no idea..I've been drinking like 8 bottles of wine...but I know this..that if I LKEAVE A COMMEN6T ON YOUR site my site weill be hammeredf,..lahnuhoowew..sori ai'm a littl edrunk i mean........... ( I just deleted whatI had originally posted... It was too embarrassing..sorry:) Haha! Email Homepage 02.14.05 - 1:21 am #

yep. I did get her interested though..she left me this comment:

At 2:26 AM, rtm said…
email me your photo - raymitheminx@gmail.com - i'm curious.

"Humbled by responsibility"

Wouldn't those be the words coming out of a flight captain(of a commercial aircraft)?
I've always admired them and their presence.
You know when you see them in places with their uniforms on (and no, I'm not going to go on about uniforms being sexy) and they always seem glad (happy isn't the word to use in this)like they have a smile on their face and their head is always a little down, have you ever noticed that?
They always seem to look at people under their eyebrows, you know like George Clooney in ER..right?
I just thought "Humbled by responsibility" would make more sense than "Proud by responsibility"..
You never see a captain who is proud.
Could you imagine a captain going back to his hotel and then at the bar brag to everyone: "Hey! You know if it wasn't for my pretty ass, all of you would be dead!
And then take couple more of those gin shots and ultimately pass out on the floor..
Nono you don't see that kind of behaviour coming from captains.
I wonder if they have a whole class regarding this issue..
They must have!
Like: "How to behave in public when you are a captain of a commercial flight" or "Humbled, not Proud"

You know those people who always clap when the plane lands succesfully?
Well, you don't want to be one of those people.
For you who are, here is some advice: Do not EVER do that again!
I've heard that from my mother who has worked in the airport for 23 years and from my grandmother who has been a flight attendant since she was 20 to the age of 65(she is now 66) over and over again.
"Only uncivilized and dumb people do that"
That's what they would always say and I never questioned it.
And when I think about it, it totally makes sense.
If you clap to a captain who has succesfully gotten you and your friend to the ground and you clap to it, that's like saying you thought there was a slight chance it could not be done.
You had a little doubt in the beginning of the flight didn't you?
Nonononono..you never doubt the captain of your flight!!
Nonononono...that IS uncivilized!
You can doubt the plane or other people on the plane if you thought they had bombs or they were highjackers, BUT YOU NEVER DOUBT THE CAPTAIN!
I'm sure you could clap as much as you want to the fact that the plane wasn't blown in pieces but I"m sure it's going to be misunderstood as if you were clapping to the captain.
So please, next time the plane lands succesfully you just sit there (look at all the other idiots who are cheering and clapping thinking you know better cause apple told you) and don't react to the plane's wheels hitting the ground in any way because you KNEW the captain was going to get you there safely.
You had trust not doubt.

It was a cheese shaped like a bell.

Food is exciting and eventful.
At least for me it feels like.
It is so because recently all the major questions I've had have revolved around food.
What should I eat next?
What do I feel like eating next?
What is there to eat next?
and last but not least..What should I get to eat next?
or wait..should it be, What should I get next to eat..?
I'm confused.
Right now I decided to write my sentences in a form of a list.
(Write know I decided to right my sentences in a form of a list)
You know, hit the enter after each period I enter.
I like this.
So in regards to food, I had a peculiar weekend filled with wine and exquisite goat cheese.
I guess you could use the word exquisite also for the wine.
Yes, the wine was exquisite.
Anyhoe I ended up drinking with the biggest pussy #1 and the biggest pussy #2.
We each had about two bottles of wine per pussy(I'm including me just because of physical reasons).
And I can handle my wine especially if I drank it in a time range of 7-9 hours.
I mean, come on!
or is it C'mon?
But one of them got just too fucking emotional for me to handle and the other one got terribly shamefully bad at poker.
And the cheese was gone.

Dry roasted peanuts..

I have been eating the weirdest things lately! First I never drink Sprite and for the last oumygod couple of weeks I have been drinking about 1.5 cans a day on average....I have no idea what has gotten this sprite-bug into me but oh no..that's not the only bug that's in me! Oh no..There is a WISE jalapeno kettle cooked chips bug that has totally taken control out of my system and now yesterday a new bug got introduced..Oh yes..the bug of dry roasted peanuts with spices..My godness! What am I supposed to do with all these obsessions? And more importantly: What is going to come next!?? I have been able to get rid of certain bugs like:
the chinese food bug
the bagel with butter tomatoes and onions bug
the ice-cream bug
the popcorn bug
the snapple bug

And yes, the bug has been contagious..and who else but my dear husband has become the victim..He totally has the WISE jalapeno kettle cooked chips bug and the sprite bug. but I think he has gotten rid of his McDonalds bug. Yeah, definetily. But he has also created one of his own lately which is the beef bug (from what I understand about the foods he has for lunch there at the Pr.)
Well, remember on that other post where I was furious and threatened to go outside in the so-called-snowstorm to do laundry and read Whitman...Well, that for some reason did not go as I would have liked...But now! Now is the time to do it!

P.S I really have to think about subjects other than food..jesus

To extra large or to jumbo?

I had a dream about jelly donuts(just following my dear husbands advice..). Today was random, hmm, or must I say peculiar? I just finished watching Father of the Bride I and II. I had to discontinue watching because you know what's on..Oh the noise from that sport is very very strong. But I convinced him to buy me the movies on a DVD..I assume they come in a pact because of their nature of being sequels..and then WE would watch them TOGETHER from start to finish..Oh how marvelous! Still it puts me down that I had to tune out of my wedding-babies-mother--mode and start to do my Sunday cleaning.. As I started I noticed I still hadn't figured out how the hell I could clean the windows from the other side! I must be a real dumbo! So I swiped them only half way up hanging from the window while Dutchess (the pretty boxer) was holding on me from my big toe..And as she got the smell of the fresh outside air the crying started and now we are on our way out..Yes I should be at least. Hah, but when Ellie (our queen of the house dachshund) tasted the freezing outside this morning when I DECIDED that we should ALL go out for a Sunday walk she very clearly demonstrated with her facial expressions and body movements that she had had enough of that ridiculousness..as did my dear husband..:)
Yesterday when I announced to the dogs(Dave was having a cigarette outside) that I would boost my site and promise to write more, I immediately had a million things to do (other than writing) right when I woke up and somehow everything is still kind of hanging on their half way:
my windows are wiped only halfly(hmm),
my bread making is still in the flourbag, the yeast packet and the waterpipes,
Dutchess is still staring at the door,
I'm still in my sexy pants,
Ellie still is without her manicure and pedicure..hmm
BUT I did go to the corner store and got all the necessary like:
1 can of asparagus
1 can of halved peaches
4 teeny-bags of WISE jalapeno chips (kettle cooked)
1 package of extra large eggs and this was a tough one because the choice was between jumbo eggs or extra large eggs and WHO the hell could know the difference?! It wasn't me! And because of this it took a little more inspection and observation time than it should have...
BUT I managed not to finish this either since they are..oh yes I can clearly see them from here...STILL at the kitchen counter..
fuckshitfuckshit
I better go and finish this ridiculousness.

Honey..

I had a dream about jelly donuts. It wasn't my idea to start my post this way, but my husbands suggestion while he continued: "There are these writing exercises, you know?" and before I had a chance to drop a word out of my mouth the correction was done: "And I'm not saying you "need" writing exercises'. Well FYI, that's exactly what I heard you saying!

Jesus. Apparently my last post wasn't "your best one", like heard from the Master's Mouth. While I was just happy because I had at least written something after I had sworn not to ever touch computers again(BythewayIrealizeI'mgettingdefensiveherewhichtotallysucksass!). No excuse me! I liked my post even though I didn't get to write what I had planned to write about. And whether or not we agree on the usefulness of some "writing exercises" I have had my fair share recently when taking an English Composition I class and doing a shit load of essays of this and that. When was the last time you had yours Mister: "I like to paint blood all over Paris Hilton's pussy and still have the nerve to say 'honey, it wasn't your best one.'"?

So this being out in the open I'm going to take a refreshing walk out in what you Americans call "OuMyGodASnowstorm" to the Laundromat and be productive WHILE reading Mr. Whitman's (who recently paid a visit to my site) poetry.

Strange.

Strange things have happened to me lately. This morning when I was planning to write about my weird occurrences, I didn’t remember any weird thing that would have happened to me! I mean how weird is that!
But just now when I passed the kitchen I saw the popcorn flavor that I recently discovered from the corner store (that has become more than often my quick fix).
It says: Corn on the Cob. This sounded so strange and weird to me that I had to buy it just to have it at my kitchen counter as an evidence if somebody would doubt my claims. It has been for 3 days now and I’m getting more and more interested if it actually can taste like corn on the cob…I mean HOW the HELL could it! Or maybe I’m the only one who thinks this is weird and I would appreciate it if you informed me otherwise.
So that was one. But I can’t remember what the one’s were that I was actually goingt o write about…
Was it the fact that I signed up for MTV’s message board and sneak in to the office while Dave is sleeping to discuss how great the My Super Sweet 16-show actually is and agree with all the others how the ones that don’t like it are actually just jealous. Nope. I think that’s just embarrassing. And I’m going to consider twice if I should post that. But I’m not the type to erase something I’ve just written, so fuck it. I’m going to hear about this one.
Was it the loud orgasm noises that woke me up each time I fell asleep last night and when it got absurd and I asked Dave if he heard it, he had no idea what the hell I was talking about. That could have been one because that’s weird and it worries me. Why did I keep hearing loud orgasm sighs/screams every time I was trying to fall asleep…Yep. That was weird. One down.
Jesus. I should keep notes about my life. I know something very weird happened. I remember thinking, Wow! This is something I should write about! Maybe it was when the French bulldog, Sanni Cecilia, we were taking care of had her periods and my brother forgot to take her diapers out when he took her to pee and as a result we had to use his old swim trunks and cut a hole to it to let the tail out and man! That was a sight to see! Nope. That wasn’t weird but it was quite funny and I have pictures to prove it..
Maybe it was when I had just eaten 5 jelly donuts with pink frosting on top and suddenly got an enormous rash to face and I couldn’t stop sweating and then I had to leave to catch a flight with a tiny propeller plane in a terrible snow storm through Finland and I just thought: What the hell…
Nope. That would have been weird in regarding all the events that took place almost at once, but it turned out to be completely normal since my periods started the next day which explains my behavior after seeing the jelly donuts and the reaction my face had after realizing what I had just done. The plane and the storm were just things that happen to me right when my uterus starts leaking. It’s like daring me and saying; Can you handle all of this at once? I should have realized earlier in that situation that it was my Uterus behind it.
How come almost all my posts talk about my Uterus? I should dedicate a whole blog just for it’s use. It would be called “The Humiliated Uterus” or “The Upset Ovaries” or ”The Frustrated Womb”
Ok. I keep thinking about what the heel it was..Maybe it could have been the old Russian hag who sat next to me on the flight home from Finland(9 hours) who decided to let a little air breeze between her toes and Man! That smell was something else! Phiuh! I do not know how to go on and describe it so I won’t. Quite honest and brutal it was.